Treevenge (2008)

“It’s wreath time for you!”

They say that variety is the spice of life. In a continuing attempt to embrace that variety here with One Movie Each Day, I’ve decided to dedicate each Wednesday review to the stranger side of cinema, the type of movies that I’d never normally watch, but that I’m kind of secretly glad exist. In celebration or in condemnation of the eccentric, the odd, the freaky, the kinky, the ghastly, the freaky, the fearful, the flaky, and the freaky, I now present the mighty collision of the Winter Shorts series with this, the sixteenth edition of Wednesday Weirdness.

Back at the beginning of November I reviewed Thankskilling, a low-budget comedy horror that, for me at least, failed largely because the joke wasn’t good enough to hold up for a feature-length film. Today the glorious combination of Wednesday Weirdness and Winter Shorts combine to bring Treevenge a short film that succeeds where Thankskilling failed.

The first half of the film is told from the point of view of a field of evergreen trees who’s peaceful existence is interrupted when a group of lunatics appears out of nowhere and begins hacking and slashing them to pieces with chainsaws and axes. Sure, to a person this might just appear to be a group of lumberjacks hauling in the harvest for their Christmas tree lot, but to the trees the experience is horrifying.

Think of the Saplings

Poor saplings… never had a chance.

The tree’s speak to each other through subtitled Treeish speech, as they try to comprehend what is happening to them, as indignity upon torturous indignity is heaped upon them. After being chopped down, and dragged away from their homes, one tree is damaged trying to escape the truck they’re being transported in, when the captors see this sorry state they declare the poor tree unfit, and dispatch it to be dismembered to become a “wreath.” The remaining trees are sold off to groups of strangely dressed creatures, (human families) then brought to another location where they are trapped in a strange device (a tree stand) via screws drilled into their trunks, and ritualistically adorned with strange decorations.

It all becomes too much for any self-respecting tree to stand for. So, obviously, they need to take their revenge.

Bloody vengence in Treevenge

It only gets worse from here.

What follows is about five minutes of one of the most hilariously heinous orgies of violence in cinematic history. People are impaled, children are terrorized, and babies are stomped into the pavement. It’s a virtual maelstrom of brutality… and it’s all committed by Christmas trees.

On one level this movie is pretty terrible. However, it’s a movie that fully knows how terrible it is, and embraces that reality. It also has and executes a pretty clever premise, more importantly; the filmmakers clearly realized that their premise alone could only carry the film so far…. So, rather than belabor the point they made it a short. It’s fun, it’s crazy, and, before you get tired of it, it’s over.

Because I've never seen Trailer Park Boys

I forgot to mention that Jonathan Torrens is in this movie.
Though, he’ll always be Gerald, (with a hard G,) to me.

[Treevenge (2008) – Directed by Jason Eisener – Not Rated]

OM|ED Rating: Worth SeeingWWWinter Shorts series